Toyjunk-The Dolphin

  I am a singer.

    Without battling an eyelash, I will say it again. I am a singer.

    Don’t have the notion that I can put Regine Velasquez run for her money for I can’t reach those high notes without a difficulty. Don’t negate yet for you may dread the fact that I don’t sound like Martin Nieviera. Don’t laugh in ostracization for I can’t move like Gary Valenciano. I can sing. That is enough.

        After my stroke in 2001, I stopped singing. I have stopped crooning during weddings and during programs. I even stopped humming those tunes, thinking I lost the flair for notes, I believed I have lost the penchant for a melody. In times that people would ask me to sing, I have a readied answer. A big no with a big gesture of swinging my head from left to right. As a matter of fact, I reasoned out that I have completely forgotten how to do it. I have forgotten singing.

     During the recent college days, a twist of event happened. I was directing a presentation that afternoon when out of the blue, Mrs. Calzado brought out the idea that I should sing in the cultural show the next day. Surprisingly, I gave her an unsure answer. She remarked that it has been long time that she had not heard me sing. I just told her that I would try to see if I can make it.  was sure I was not singing. I just tole her the uncerntainty to stop her bugging.

    Weird, an incident happened earlier. I was making fun singing a Martin Nievera’s song in the AVR while waiting for our show . Kenneth, a student, commented that I sang well. I was secretly elated by remark. I needed that. I joking sang for more.

     I went home. I was contemplating about the events that afternoon. I carelessly asked for a minus one tape from my brother. I was expecting that he couldn’t give me one. All our tapes had been worn out. Amazingly, he got the old tape of Ariel Rivera. The song "BiglaNG BIGLA" caught my attention.I knew the song with all my heart. I played the song. I sang it. I knew I had to sing it. There was something that is telling me to sing it the next day. I had decided. I was singin the song but I was afraid.

      That day was long and busy. We had our story telling show. We won second in the talent expo. I should have been tired but I was not. I was excited. I had a last minute recall of the song in my mind. I was waiting for the program restlessly.

    My number in the program was near. I was getting nervous. Randal eased me out by helping me dressing up. As the time went by, I became rattled of the fact that I was singing. I was getting afraid as time drew near. I was now unsure if I had to do it.

     My cue was given .I would be next. My heart was pounding. I was nervous. My hands were trembling. I hid the lyric sheet. I told myself to be ready.  I was given the signal. Lights were out. I walked shakingly. I got the microphone. The spotlight lit. I smiles. I heard the score. The audience were quiet.

    My first notes were shrill and unsure. Out of the blue. Claps roared. People were swooning. I got the heart. Words were comin out perfectly. I knew the song. I was perfect. I was doing the performance of my life. People were responding well. They liked my sing. They liked me.

    After my song, people came to me. Remarks of excellence were overwhelming. Randal, who is a singer. remarked that he never expected me to do that excellently. Yes, that was a performance. People talked about it for a week.

     Weeks from that experience, I can just recall the experience with a big grin. It is only now that I realize why I did such fact. I sang with my heart. I was singing the song for a person who made me realize the person I am.

    That moment, I sang. I was a singer. My heart sang the tune of my heart. Its music can only be explained the wonderful weaving of experience. 

     I sang. People heard my heart singing that afternoon.It still resonates. It throbs.

    "Biglang bigla nakita ka, Buhay  ko ay nag iba. Biglang bigla pinawi mo…Ikaw pala ang mahal ko."